Juxtapose
by GirlWithin
Summary: And you miss the chance to catch Miss Flighty Dream and you have to settle for the next best thing: Miss Best Friend. All I ever prayed for and wanted was one chance to take the blasted wench on a blasted date, just one measly date.
1. Of Flighty Dreams and Kisses

**Disclaimer: Starlight, starbright, I wish on you tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, someday own the Harry Potter rights.**

**Summary**: Lily and James have settled their differences and are now the best of friends. Yet James is left wanting more while Lily is content with the present. Travel through their most inner thoughts and watch as their relationship changes from friendship to a little...more.

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**Chapter 1: Of Flighty Dreams and Kisses**

It's amazing how the things you never expect come whizzing around the corner and latch on to you. Who in the world would have ever believed it? Here we were just minding our own schmo-joe business and then BAM! The shit hits the fan. Us. It's like we've countered gravity or mastered some impossible feat. Us. What an odd word to associate with. Foreign in taste, it bounces around in my mouth. We're such opposites too. He is the night and I am the fiery sunrise – metaphorically and literally. Not to mention, I _hat_ed him. Truly, I did. I wanted to string him up like a piñata, hit him to death, and have him come back as an incarnation of a snail _just_ so I could watch the salt eat away his slimy flesh.

But _someo_ne up there doesn't like me. Instead of a lovely strung up man-piñata, I got a best friend. Gung-ho. I won't say I'm not grateful, because I am. After all, hugging is much less painful than punches and kicks. But why _him_? Couldn't it have been some nice quite boy who is more than happy to be the carpet on which I can easily tread upon? Yeah, right. I get the guy who loves to argue just as much as I do.

Just who _is_ this guy? You, my dear friend, just might want a paper bag at ready. Hyperventilation is not a pretty sight when there are copious amounts of oxygen to inhale. Anyways, I digress. The one and only best guy friend of I, Lily Evans, is….

James Potter.

Oh boy. Just direct me to the prize table so I can claim my newfound treasure. Really, I was quite surprised myself at the realization that we had become best friends. I mean, how bipolar can a relationship get? First the man's a piñata, then he's a snail, and now he's a leech attached to my side.

I don't even know how it happened! How in the world was I supposed to know that one silly normal conversation would lead to another that would lead to another and etc.? I know, I know, conversational skills dictate that normal conversations should lead to other conversations. But that's beside the point.

Being best friends with James Potter isn't all that splendid either. Because once you're on the friendly side with the prat, his _entire_ bum boys crew is there too. The whole Marauder lot gets added into the packaging.

Sirius is certainly a character, many a times a _drunk_ character. In the beginning I used to find myself hunched over, eyes shifting from side to side, in anticipation of Cyclone Sirius. He loves to sling an arm around my shoulders so that I have no choice but to sway down the corridors with him and utterly trash the reputation that I have so painstakingly gained for myself.

Remus is such a teddy bear. Well, one that has dripping fangs and bloodthirsty instincts every full moon. He's always the one I go to for a good long talk on intelligent matters. It's his hand that rests against my forehead to check for a temperature and he's the keeper of comfort chocolate. Ah, I love the man.

Peter is Peter. He's bit childish, I suppose. But his innocence (which very well could be stupidity) is quite endearing. He's a lovely listener and very loyal. It's just that I've always had an iffy feeling about the boy.

And James. Wow, he goes full out. He always has a hand on me whether it is entwined with my own hand or softly laying on my hip as he walks to class with me. Sometimes, he'll drum out a beat on my thigh during History of Magic or squeeze my side to make me laugh. God forbid, we kiss too. His idea, not mine though I have to admit that it was my fault for the idea though. I thought that it would be amusing to show him a few episodes of this American show called "Will & Grace". It's just that the similarities between the two and us are eerily uncanny. James and Will have dark hair and Grace and I have red hair. James and I even live right across from each other in the Head dorms just like Will and Grace in college.

After seeing Grace and Will smack lips more than a few times, James decided to do the same. "Best friend rights" is what he claimed. Contrary to what you may think, they are _not_ passionate snogs in dark broom closets. They're more like pecks or quick chaste kisses on the lips. Definitely not something too abnormal.

Our relationship is perfect. He's at ease, I'm at ease, and we both easily get along. There's no strife or arguments and I have a fabulous hugger to come to every night before I go to bed. Being best friends has been the best thing that's happened for us.

oooooooooooooo

It's frustrating how you come to expect your dream to never come true only to have it actually come zooming around to hit you on the head when you least expect it, stunning you. And you miss the fucking chance to catch Miss Flighty Dream and you have to settle for the next best thing: Miss Best Friend. All I ever prayed for and wanted was one chance to take the blasted wench on a blasted date; just one measly date.

But _someone_ up there doesn't like me. Instead of hot sexy girlfriend, I got a best friend. Lucky me. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's wonderful to stare at her gorgeous hair and beautiful skin and hear her talk without fear of being castrated or decapitated. I mean, if this is the closest I can get to her, then so be it. For now.

And just who is this vision of loveliness that I have been prattling on about? Girls you may want to cover you ears, the jealous repercussions may temporarily leave you frozen and speechless. Boys, you better not be getting any _funny_ ideas. A wizard I may be, but I do enjoy the ways Muggles settle fights. But I digress. My best friend is none other than...

Lily Evans.

I know, I know. I'm doomed. The shit has left the fan and hit my face. How in the world am I ever going to keep myself from madly snogging the girl and possibly having my wicked way with her? Now that is a question I myself would like to know the answer to.

I don't even remember how it happened! I never expected to actually have a normal conversation with her without ruining the whole evening with another one of my snarky proposals. How in the world was I supposed to know that un-gitting and un-pratting myself would lead to friendship?

And being best friends with Lily Evans isn't as spiffing as it may sound. As soon as the rest of the Marauders found out, they converged on her like a pack of wolves after roadkill. I swear they will be the death of me one day.

Sirius likes to wrap an arm around her shoulders and walk with her down the corridors, leaving my hand oddly cold and lonely without the touch of her palm. He always throws these little smirks at me every time he does his stupid stunt, as if hoping for me to go into a jealous rage and blurt out my feelings to Lily.

Remus is like her fucking _mother. _He's the one she seeks out to talk about deep things. It's his hand that always checks for a fever and it's always his pockets in which she searches for chocolate.God, I hate him sometimes.

I don't worry too much about Peter. I don't think Lily likes him nearly as much as the other two. Of course she'll talk to him and treat him as sweet as the others but I can always tell she has reserved feelings for the guy. I love Peter.

It gets harder and harder every day to touch her and talk to her without randomly begging her to be my girlfriend. The problem is that we're _too_ the best of friends. You see, I can't help it when my hand automatically seeks out hers when we stroll to classes. I can't help but tap my fingers against her thigh, knowing that was going to the most revealing skin I would ever be able to touch. But the thing that undoes me every single time is our kisses.

Lily had shown me this odd American show where a gay bloke and a straight bird were best friends. What scared me was that Lily seemed to think that we were just like the couple. Excuse me? I most definitely do _not_ swing the other way! But I used the show to my advantage and we now kiss like best friends. You know, the quick dry peck on the lips or chaste soft kiss before bed. My heart breaks just a little more every time her lips graze mine and I have no choice but to pull away quickly.

Our relationship is perfect. Too perfect. She's at ease and I'm getting turned on just thinking about her. But we both fit together so well…just not the way I hoped. Sometimes I want to just hold her a little longer on one of our nightly hugs instead of letting her go up to bed. Sometimes I want to _rea_lly kiss her instead of just give her a peck on the forehead. Being best friends has been the worst thing that's happened to me.

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**So what do you think? Does it have merit? Please review!**


	2. Sprouting Wings to Soar

**Disclaimer: _Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. _Then why does the words, "I don't own Harry Potter" make me weep?**

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**Chapter 2: Sprouting Wings to Soar**

I'm angry. I'm very angry. I'm so angry I just might storm away in a rage and rip a few paintings off the walls. Nothing makes me more incensed than missing dinner. It wasn't even my fault either! Those stupid twitty second years were brawling yet again in the corridors and I, as the prestigious Head Girl, just _had_ to stop them.

I think my stomach has shriveled to the size of a raisin.

You'd think that detention and the loss of House points would stop the idiots from fighting. But noooo. It only halted them for a few seconds before they continued on. Stupid snots ruining my stupid dinner and making my stupid stomach shrivel.

Everyone seems to assume that because I am petite, I eat like only two grapes for dinner every night. Wrong. I eat more than any of my friends and the only two that can beat me are James and Sirius. James calls me a dainty pig: able to inhale loads of food without ever gaining any weight.

I think he's just jealous that I can keep my figure without needing to participate in a pointless sport like Quidditch, which, by the way, does not look very athletic at all. I mean, wow, there must be _a lot_ of energy put into flying on a piece of wood and grabbing small gold balls.

So now I'm randomly walking around, too hungry to go back to my room to sleep and too tired to actually come up with something else to do other than randomly stroll around in dark corridors.

Just for the hell of it, I open my mouth and warble out an old Beatles song my dad used to sing to me. Hopefully my off-tune notes will lull my raging mind and grumbling stomach to sleep.

As I sing, I yank open a few closet doors and watch in perverse pleasure as the occupants shriek and scramble for discarded clothing. Watching the couple scurry away, I continue on, my voice echoing off the walls.

oooooooooooo

I'm worried. I'm very worried. I'm so worried I might just hysterically run away and shake people by the shoulders in panic. Nothing has my heart pounding more than when Lily misses dinner. She _never_ misses dinner.

Lily loves to eat. I know, looking at her, you would never guess that she eats almost as much as I do. But she does. Every dinner she sits down, snaps open her napkin, picks up her fork and digs in like there's no tomorrow. Just watching her makes me feel fat. But that's the sick part about Lily. She's _not_ fat. She eats all this food and never gains a pound.

I, myself, only can keep my weight down by having hours of Quidditch practice. Luckily I'm captain of an athletic team. It may not look hard, but sitting on top of a moving broomstick and chasing after a reluctant Snitch is exhausting.

So now I'm randomly walking around, too annoyed to go back to my room and too worried to just give up and sleep. Suddenly my hair stands up on end and my arms are covered with goose bumps as my ears want to wrinkle up and die. My worry is quickly replaced with horror as I recognize Lily's voice bellowing down the hall.

"We all live in the Yellow Submarine! The Yellow Submarine, the Yellow Submarine. We all live in the YELLOW SUBMARINE! The Yellow Submar…."

I quickly race down the hall and clap a hand over her mouth. My ears are throbbing so badly, I totally forgot to approach Lily from the front and not the back. She has this weird fear of men coming up behind her and taking her away.

I paid dearly for my lapse in judgment.

Lily brings down her foot crushingly on mine then jabs a sharp elbow in my stomach. Immediately I let go of her mouth to clutch my stomach and she takes the opportunity to turn around and knee me. Hard. And as she's proudly wiping off her hands, she notices just _who_ she has kung-fued into a piece of whimpering tofu.

"James?"

oooooooooooo

Oh shit. So much for a masked murderer. Instead of facing a scowling brute of a man, I look down at the crumpled figure of my best friend. He has one hand cupped around his crotch and an arm wrapped around his stomach. I'm guessing I stomped on him as hard as I kneed him since he keeps on alternating his hand from his crotch to his toe as if he can't decide which hurts more.

I feel bad, I really do. But James _knows_ how I reacted to people coming up behind my back. So in reality, it is really _his_ fault for a bruised reproductive organ and throbbing appendages.

I stare him down, torn between scolding and rubbing the parts I hurt (crotch excluded). In the end I sit down next to his now rocking body and listen to the whimpers that are issuing from between clenched teeth. I wait silently before tentatively speaking.

"James? You alright?"

He groans spectacularly and I feel a surge of pride at my self-defense handiwork.

"You know, James. I have that fear of men coming up behind my back. You should have known better."

He blearily opens his eyes and glares at me. "Thanks for the sympathy, Lily. Really, that's just splendid," he wrenches out as his face contorts with pain again. I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the way he is now clutching his crotch with both hands. I guess his stomach and toe don't hurt that much anymore.

Finally the pain seems to have passed over and he slowly unfurls his body and painfully gets up. "Come on," he says. "Let's get you back to your room."

I stop and place my hands on my hips heavily. "Excuse me, mister. But I haven't eaten yet. There's no way I'll be able to go to sleep."

I am rewarded with an exasperated sigh and eye roll. You can imagine my surprise when he changes directions and begins to tug me _away_ from the rooms. After what feels like eons of walking, we stop in front of a portrait of fruit, a very _ugly_ portrait of fruit. James gestures grandly and I begin to wonder if my karate chops have given him brain damage. I begin to wonder about his insanity even more when he reaches up and begins….tickling a pear?

Just as I am about to gently inform him that he might now be mentally retarded, the pear giggles (dear Merlin) and swings open to reveal…heaven.

oooooooooooo

Oh god, I think I've died and gone to heaven. Lily Evans is in my arms and jumping up and down and she's deliciously rubbing up against me. Well, I guess no lasting damage to _that_ area. If this is going to be her reaction every time I take her to the kitchens, then I definitely need to take her here more often.

It's beautiful how well we fit together. Her head just barely reaches my chin and if I want to, I can rest my head on top of hers. We are like two puzzles pieces that just seem to click together perfectly and I am only more convinced that she's the one. She tilts her head up and kisses me on the cheek and then squeals shrilly, "You're the bestest friend ever!" Oh bugger, I forgot. There's a bloody wall of friendship between blissful love and me.

But watching her run around like a little girl in a candy shop, I can't help but be happy with our relationship now. It's safe and something that I can always be assured of is there. But love? It's a flighty sort of thing that could very well have her calling me "Potter" instead of "James."

Everyone sees me as this one bloke who hangs out with all these other blokes who play pranks on even more blokes. My image is simple, shallow, and utterly irresistible to the ladies. And you know what? It fit. Well, until I met Lily, that is. Meeting my lovely redhead has changed me from a hearty Petruchio to a simpering Romeo. Sirius thinks I've lost my mind, hankering after one bird like this. And maybe I have lost my mind.

Yet when her hand slips into mine as we walk back to our rooms I somehow get the feeling that losing my mind may not be so horrible if I end up with a heart. Maybe that's the point of love; to test you. Remus always tells me that love is a leap of faith; and before, I used to tell him that _that_ was a load of flobberworm droppings. But now that I think about it, I think it's the relationship that is a leap of faith. You see, _that_ is what most people don't understand about the subject.

_Love_ is falling in that leap of faith and finding the ability to sprout wings and soar.

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**So peeps! What do you think? Shall I continue?**


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